Remembering Mama

     By Waylon Elmer Day

     The last time I saw mama I knew the time was near. Her body had just given out on her and she was ready for that new body. On another visit I had asked her if she was ready to go and she said, “I am so ready!” On that last visit I whispered in her ear, “Mama we will all be alright. I love you and I know you have always loved me.” Kelly told me that all during that day mama would say, “Wait.” Kelly said she asked her if she was talking to her or “them” and she said, “them.” I think she was waiting for me to say goodbye. I sat there that night thinking that it was probably the last time I would see mama alive and what that meant. I told her one time years ago that the world would be a lot less interesting without her in it. She had me repeat that twice. She was such a unique and complex individual that influenced so many lives. Her passing was sad and left a large void, but it was not a tragedy. She was a child of God and had such a clear belief of eternity that she faced it without doubt or fear.

     Over the years, when I had thought about losing mama, I would have a rush of emotions. I did not know how I would really react when it happened. Paula called me about two days after and asked me how I was doing. I told her it was strange because I had a feeling of peace and felt mama’s presence still with me. I had a dream of her about two nights after she passed. I was in a large holding room where it seemed people were waiting or going somewhere. I was talking to my Uncle James, who has passed on, and I was asking him how it was in Heaven. He said it was kinda hot and he laughed about it. I said are you sure you are in Heaven? You would have to have known him to get this conversation. I looked across the room and saw mama walking by as she was leaving. I thought it interesting that she had on a colorful light green dress while everything else seemed black and white. When I would go see her those last times and start to leave, I would stop at the door and wave bye to her and she would wave back. In the dream she waved bye to me and I waved back. Next, in the dream, I was walking down a road in life and something sinister was following me. A car came past and mama was in it and she waved again. I thought then that whatever was following me better beware because mama was always close by. 

     Mama was born on December 27th, 1928. But, like the apostle Paul, I think mama could have been born out of season. It could have been 1828 and she would have fit right in. I always thought of her as having a pioneer spirit. I could very well see her loading her family up in a Conestoga wagon and heading out to the western territories. I believe she could have settled a large section of a territory right by herself. She was a determined person and faced many adversities in her life.

    She was a child of the Great Depression. When the stock market crashed in 1929 and all the rich folks were jumping off buildings, mama’s family just got up that morning and went to work like they had done every morning. Being raised on a two horse farm, about 100 acres, they never had much money anyway. They grew their own crops for food and raised their own animals for meat. They worked from sunup to sundown and life was not easy but I think it was a good life. I think that is what tempered this generation to be referred to as the “Greatest Generation.” Mama told me how she had rather worked in the fields with her daddy and brothers than to work around the house. She actually plowed a mule in the fields! She was in her last year of high school, which back then was the 11th grade, during WWII when she dropped out and went to Savannah. She stayed with her aunt and got a job at the shipyards welding. She was only 15 but she told them she was older. So, she was actually one of the original “Rosie the Riveter” as told in history.

     Mama was also a child of faith. Now my family on the Day side, I found out just a few years ago, were Quakers! My ancestor of 11 generations ago, John Day, sailed from Somerset England in the late 1600’s and settled in Pennsylvania. Although somewhere down the line we left the Quaker religion, I think that accounts for the faith found in our family. But, when mama was a child of about 8, no one in her family was religious or went to church regularly. She told me that one day while walking across the fields to take her daddy and brothers dinner, she had a piece of ice in her mouth. She said that every time she put the ice to the top of her mouth it would fall down. So, she thought if there was a God he would know what she was thinking and He could make the ice stick to the roof of her mouth. Well, the next time she tried it the ice stuck to the top of her mouth. She said after that she never doubted that there was a God. The faith that started there as a child, she would trust in the rest of her life.

     Mama married Elmer Day in 1945. She was 16 and he had just gotten out of the Navy during WWII. Elmer and his daddy had a sawmill in Ambrose and they sold lumber. They had several houses at the sawmill and mama and daddy moved into one of those. I have a picture of them standing in front of one of those houses when Paula was a baby. Mama said she didn’t know how to cook, clean house, or wash and iron clothes because she had always worked in the field. So, when the house got too dirty, they would just move next door to another one. She did eventually learn how to be a great cook as everyone in the family can attest. I think the first 5 years of their marriage was kind of a heated, rocky situation. But, mama got saved and I remember her telling me that God told her that 11 or so members of her family would follow her in getting saved. I think the short time mama and daddy had together after they got saved was perhaps the most peaceful and happiest time of her life.

     Elmer got killed in a freak accident in July of 1952. It was a tragic and horrible blow to mama. She was 22 with two small children and no kind of training for a job. I was told by several people that mama was never the same after this. It was 10 months later in 1953 that mama married Donald Royal.Their marriage was rocky also. Their marriage lasted less than 10 years, but to a child it seemed a lot longer. I have so many memories of this time growing up. They had Donja, my younger sister. They were divorced when Donald was also killed in a tragic accident in 1963.

     Mama had a great love for God and family. Regardless of the ups and downs in her life, her faith in God never faltered. You no doubt have heard of the many prayers and miracles that God did through her prayers. She passed down that heritage to many people in her family. I remember her putting me to bed at night when I was little and she would tell me bible stories that I never forgot. I said to her once that if she went to God before I did would she ask God to give me her faith. I have thought about it since then and realize that she did give me her faith! All her life she told me about it, lived it before me, and instilled it in me. A Christian heritage is probably the greatest thing mama left behind. She taught me many of life’s lessons that I never forgot. She said once, “Son, life is hard sometimes but you just have to be harder than life.” She also told me that I could be or do anything that I wanted bad enough. She was always positive about achieving what her mind was made up to do. It is in our family, “You can’t beat me!” She was my greatest cheerleader. She told someone that I was right next to Jesus. Now who would say anything like that except your mother. When she bragged on me my sisters would say, “Hercules, Hercules, Hercules!” She was my best friend and Peggy is my closest friend. But, my best friend could brag on me so that it would make my closest friend sick. I will miss that support because she was definitely the wind beneath my wings.

     Everyone in the family will have feelings and memories about Lottie. There will be feelings of sadness and loss. I saw two of my little grandchildren just so broken up at the funeral that it was heart wrenching. But, grief and death is a part of the life process. The memories and experiences of Lottie will keep her alive in your life. The Thanksgivings and Christmas at Wray will always be there to remember. The meals she cooked, the many presents under the tree, the games we played, how funny mama could be, and it goes on and on. One last thing I told mama, “It is alright for you to go because we will all be there together before long.” You just make sure of that for yourself. As I look out the window the sun is shining and mama is here saying come on, come on.